bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
Randomize
