My friends, they love my intelligence
how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
I skipped work to stalk him.
I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
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