i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
Randomize