if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
But break dance skills will only take you so far
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
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