should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
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