She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
We had sex on a dog bed..
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
