They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
Randomize
