I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
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