why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
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