Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
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