I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
I just totok an inventory of my purse: 1 apple, 1 pair of underwear, 7 condoms, $18 in ones, a check with "for sexual healing" in the subject line, and a 4 oz bottle of wine.
Oh! and a letter from a judge saying I got an interview. Cause that balances it out.
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
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