his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
Randomize
