I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
It is 3am. I'm at a pizzeria with my 4 friends. The one to my right is throwing up on herself, the one to my left is crying hysterically by herself, the one in front of me is passed out on the table, and the other is trying to find a taxi and I'm pretty sure a guy is sticking his hand up her skirt. Tourists are taking pictures. Help me.
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize
