..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
Is that strawberry winking at me??
Randomize
