dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
They left me at home... I'm a liability
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