I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
Randomize
