it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
Randomize
