I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
Randomize
