New invention idea: vibrating tampons
Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
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