yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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