I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
Found the puke drawer
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
Randomize
