Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
Randomize
