We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
Randomize
