I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
Woke up in a pool of alcohol sweat. Probably could wring out my sheets and make a decent cocktail.
I feel like one of those toads that you lick to get high or find a prince.... cept when you lick me you find a drunk whore.
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
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