So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
My bed is full of blood and feathers
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
Randomize
