READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Randomize
