We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
Randomize