Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Randomize