Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
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