don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
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