you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
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