and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
Randomize
