he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
Randomize