I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
Randomize
