So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
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