You just made me feel so damn special
I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
Vodka?
Forever.
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
Randomize