I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
Randomize
