entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
We are two peas in an std pod
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
Randomize