check it out our google latitudes are spooning
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Randomize
