He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize
