she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
I look excited, but its just a facade.
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
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