well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
