It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
Randomize
