I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
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