Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
Randomize
