thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Randomize
