I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
