so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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