stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
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