it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
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