Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
Randomize
