Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
Come share oat with me in your robe
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
Randomize
