What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
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