did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
Randomize
