Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
Randomize
