I just threw up on my dentist
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
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