Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
Randomize
