best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
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