everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
Randomize
