oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
Hey had an urgent voicemail from the Illinois national guard....have you been using my identity for your blackout weekend?
Yes and yes
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
Randomize
