Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
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