Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
does your mom think i'm crazy? i just realized i played both the gay dad and the ex-jew card tonight. i blame the wine
Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
Randomize
