College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
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