halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
Go christen that room with your naked body.
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
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