he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize
