I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
